I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
