She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
