I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
