Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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