If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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