Her vagina should come with caution tape.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
