ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
