After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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