pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
