six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
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