She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
