Plan B is the new Plan A
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
