the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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