i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
