My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
