All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
