Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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