dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
