i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
