Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
