You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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