I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
