...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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