I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
