He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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