I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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