They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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