I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
