i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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