And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
