I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
COCAINE IS GR8
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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