Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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