Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
