are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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