We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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