A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
me + whiskey = a bad person
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.