I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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