She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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