if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
