I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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