Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
