I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
