ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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