Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
