dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I am naked and annoyed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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