whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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