Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
