I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
