yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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