YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
