did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I came so hard my ears popped.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
