I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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