the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We had to coat check the pizza.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
is it fun? or sober?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
