I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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