you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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