Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
